Hormones go wild in pregnancy. They take over the body in weird and most glorious ways that can be both alarming and disarming. The body undergoes incredible changes some obvious and some hidden and some that creep up on you all of sudden.
At 20 weeks gestation my body seemed to have some kind of hormonal shift and all of a sudden I had pubic symphysitis. My whole pelvis felt very movable and my pubic bone felt like it was being grated upon itself, bone on bone. If I sat in one position for too long the pelvis felt like it seized up so that upon standing I had to hold myself together so as not to collapse. My partner lovingly shared with me that on standing, I would with my hands, hold my pelvis front and back in a way that inclined I had just involuntarily emptied the contents of my bowels. Hilarious in hindsight, alarming in the moment.
The first few weeks of adjusting to the hormone relaxin, that attentive producer of my hypermobile pelvis, were rather disorientating. Rolling over in bed would often incite a grimace. Finding a way to remain active and “healthy” felt challenging when walking too briskly would illicit a deeper, more painful grating within the pelvis the following day. There were a few occasions I could be seen hobbling down the corridors at work, at a very young 20 weeks gestation waddling like that of a full term woman days from giving birth. It felt ridiculous to the point of humorous and I made mockery of my preterm waddling. Reassurance came from a lovely, strong and long-time practicing midwife who stated “You can’t stop the waddle if the pelvis is soft”. It felt true and honest and I felt reassured with the reminder that I cannot in fact stop what the body does, all I can do is listen and work with it.
So I softened to my body and its needs. I started finding creative ways of mindfully moving about a woman in labour, asking partners for more physical support where in the past I would just throw my body around for the sake of women. I tapped into the wonderful minds of my midwife colleagues and physiotherapists and found ways to support my softening pelvis through knees together in bed when rolling over, smaller strides when walking, no wide-legged yoga postures, adopting a pelvic belt, standing up straight after 20 minutes of sitting and going for a little walk, and strengthening my glutes through a small repetition of squats every few days. What I took most from the change was a deeper listening to my body- if it felt fatigued I rested, if it felt delicate I moved slowly.
By 28 weeks the discomfort seemed to ease. Either my body had settled in to the change or perhaps I had learned to listen more easily and adapt my life more appropriately. Now, at 32 weeks gestation, although I have moments of a pubic symphisitis resurgence, I still feel more adjusted and less alarmed. I feel in clear communication with my body and its needs and I realise more and more that this time is for slowing down and listening. Oh and most importantly if there’s a moment for assistance, I don’t just pull out my miss-independence-let-me-serve-you-at-the-cost-of-me, instead, I ask for help.
Special thanks for the gorgeous photo by Sarah Ardin on Unsplash
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